My dad's not well - things are emotional today

My dad's not well...

LIFE'S RHYTHM:

Consuming life's rhythm
In the blink of an eye
Before you live
You have to die

Sever your pain
From past situations
The scars of yesterday
Dividing nations

Awaken and see
Dew drop tears
New petals and roses
No thorns for years

I wrote this poem, drew the top layer of embryo looking art, and added a collage with audio yesterday, but I didn't really say why.

It's about time you heard what's going on.

First of all, thank you.

Thank you for coming here to read this. I realize that my plan to publish The Soul Acts book several times over the last year has probably caused "The 👦 boy who cried 🐺 wolf" reactions to grow wild inside you whenever a new seed gets posted here.

My intentions were and always are sincere. I intended to officially launch this blog, the book, and my latest song album, at the end of last year.

My album is ready - albeit I need to create a music video.

And I genuinely finished writing the book. Or so I thought. But that's the wonderful thing about the soul. It guides you. It decides when the time's right. So you learn not to get stressed about it (at least not for long).

Since May 2026 life's gone crazy...

I've traveled across Wales to view a potential new house purchase in Pembrokeshire.

That drive through Mid-Wales was breathtaking.

BREATHTAKING!

The house I saw was also breathtaking but in a different way. The place was a junk yard. The photos the agents had showed me were old.

But I still LOVED EVERYTHING that fateful day.

How?

Surely I wasted my money and time?

No.

I loved everything because I'm so awakened now.

😱 Yikes! Skeptics just drew back in unison. Don't run — yet.

Look, I know that last bit sounds weird. Probably arrogant and off-putting. It's the opposite. My book explains this non-egoic awakening in depth, and so please be aware that context in that sentence is missing.

So it was that my soul knew better. The Pembroke house was a shock but the trip was medicine. It took me to the place I wasn’t looking for — the one I actually needed.

Confused? 😆 Keep reading...

After Pembrokeshire my house hunting took a soulful turn towards the opposite direction.

I'd been looking for two and a half years for a property that felt right. Incredibly that feeling eventually happened in a sensible way. Usually I'm a very emotional decision maker. But out of nowhere a home appeared in Stoke-on-Trent and an act of being sensible occurred to my relief.

Where the heck is Stoke?

It's the UK city where pottery made its name. Royal Doulton. Wedgwood. And more recently Emma Bridgewater.

The crazy thing?

I'd never been there!

But following my soul instinct I drove up to see the unexpected house and bought it. It's still currently the one and only time I've ever been to Stoke.

So why buy a house there?

Sometimes soul acts involve tick boxes ✅✅✅ and this house ticked most of them.

Key ones are to be near hospital for my dad. Nearer to my daughter and wider family. I've only seen my mum twice over the last two years! It's time for a move.

Don't get me wrong here... 🐉✨ Wales is still — and will always — have a soulful grip on my heart. But this move is the next step that's needed.

And as all THAT STUFF has been happening I've tried to proofread and fully finish my book. Working on it every spare moment.

I was juggling everything okay-ish...

My dating life had to stop. And earlier in the year that had proved to have been another detour in me finding out I have AuDHD.

Who knows, maybe Stoke will be where I finally find a woman who loves me unconditionally for who I am and not what they want me to be.

Hey, that Hallmark-Movie stuff can happen 😂! If you are in the same dating position 🦍💩⚡ don't listen to whatever Gori is telling you! And remember, if you cannot find the one — remember that's BS — because YOU are the ONE! 🌹

Caring for my dad had reached a new level. My yearning for freedom had calmed down. I was truly loving everything about our rare father and son situation.

And then my dad turned 97 and started to cough a bit more than usual.

He had an X-ray the other week and it concluded that our time together is becoming even more precious.

I'm hoping he'll make it to Stoke with me. I'm now trying to pack a house and care for him in a way that doesn't add any stress to him.

In these very emotional times I always think of you.

It's why I wrote The Soul Acts.

To share with you what I've learned truly will work for you too.

Work?

I mean a philosophy you can apply to your life situations in your own soulful way. One that will help you turn heartbreak and tough times into soul happiness.

As a very private person I find it hard to share my life online. But the reason I'm doing so is to help anyone else in similar situations where life can seem impossible to keep going.

I'm living proof that you can keep growing in all weathers. 🌱⛈️🌦️☀️🌈

Right now I haven't slept for weeks. Helping my dad when he wakes at night and early morning. My health has suffered because of the stress my mind and body is under. I was getting better! But stress is definitely one of the main causes of slipping back into illness. However, I am much better prepared this time to ensure I manage it so it doesn't manage me.

I'm so tired my body feels physically bruised. I've got to somehow pack up the whole house ready to move in less than 4 weeks. I could give in to the Gori thoughts about exhaustion and how tackling life all on my own isn't fair – but I 🐦‍🔥 rise up. Souls are eternal. I'm feeling soul happiness buzzing through me right now and sending that energy your way if you let it in today?

I'm acting gratefully. This morning was an act of 🎁🎄 Christmas! My dad was alive when I checked on him. I was able to kiss him. I felt like Scrooge given another chance to live with him today!

THAT'S WHAT LIFE'S ALL ABOUT.

That's what it means to:

LOVE ✿ EVERYTHING ✿ TODAY
(In your own soulful way)

I hope some of this sparks your soul to smile and grow that empowerment feeling in love.

I love you. You've got this!

The book and album will eventually arrive when the time's right.

In the meantime I'm posting poems and digital collages like the one above. Injecting hidden meaning so others who feel my soul's cry, can grow anew.

Soulfully,
CJB today xoxo