Fertilizer in the Midnight Hour
From chest-thumping anxiety to a farting dog: read how I’m turning the "steamy manure" 💩 of getting older into a fresh scent of Soul Happiness today.
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As I get Old .. Her
Created by CJB — today.
As I get Old .. Her —
Her voice comes to me.
Me lying here in bed,
Scared by a primal-ego,
Chest thumping,
Stirred.
I hear its wild cry:
Things are going to die.
(My dog farts, then punctuates with a sigh)
Things won't get easier!
You are in such pain.
But then I remove that jacket of thoughts,
Lay it down gently —
Next to other steaming mental dog shit.
And I feel the fresh scent of love —
Blowing louder from deep within.
Feeling the jacket composting,
I giggle at memories of school friends.
Remembering how love connects those dots.
In the bedroom darkness I lay...
At the edge of life and I pray...
Then cry —
With LAUGHTER!
So much love is in the salty skies tonight.
I wipe away tired tears and feel her:
Her feeling is truth —
Her feeling of us.
And as I get Old .. Her
Eternal love grows deeper still,
As I fall awake once more.
Fertilizer in the Midnight Hour
Most people treat the fear of getting older like a toxic spill — something to be contained, hidden, or ignored. They spend their lives "numbing" or "rushing" to outrun the clock. But in the CJB garden, we don't bypass the pain. We look at the "thickets of the primal-ego" and the heavy "jacket of thoughts" and we realize: this is exactly where the growth begins.
Spotting the Primal-Ego 🦍
In the dead of night, your primal-ego loves to thump its chest and scream that "things are going to die". It’s a "negativity curse" that wants you to carry the weight of the whole world into a single moment.
But here is the Soul Act™ for today: Instead of fighting that fear, lay it down. Treat those heavy thoughts like "steamy manure". It might smell like 💩 right now, but that muck is the very fertilizer your soul needs to grow toward the light.
Choosing to Fall Awake 🌱
The poem "As I get Old .. Her" isn't about fading away; it’s about the "Soul Happiness" that grows naturally when you stop pretending life is perfect. When you wipe away the "tired tears" and meet the mess with love, you aren't just getting older — you are "acting lovingly, TODAY, through your soul".
This is the Alternative Soul way. We don't wait for a "false promise of constant glee". We find the "seeds" in the bedroom darkness, we pray, and then we cry with laughter. Because when the soul acts, everything — even the aging process — finally makes sense.
#loveEVERYTHINGtoday
